(For an explanation on this and other posts under “Raw, Real and Unplugged” see this post.)
August 15, 2013 Thursday 2:02 a.m.
I am awakened again by a disturbing dream. And this one is SO silly, but recurring so worth contemplating (since I’m awake anyway!).
Each time it is a little different, but always the same in essentials and theme…
I am always shopping, usually with other people. I have little time and little money, and feel guilty for not paying attention to my comrades as I frantically search the racks for MY PURCHASE! And I wish someone would notice ME and bring me what I’m looking for… because I don’t actually know what it is.
And each time I dream this dream, I am afraid that if I don’t scour every inch of the store and try on every possible outfit, I might miss it!
But there is never enough time. And always my resources are limited so I feel I MUST CHOOSE PERFECTLY because whatever I choose is IT; there will be no coming back and buying anything else if I make a mistake.
This morning’s dream was like the rest.
The specifics are as follows…
I am with Polly at LuLu Lemon—my FAVORITE!!! I know I don’t have much money, but they are having an extraordinary SALE that we’ve stumbled upon with 20 minutes till closing (and the end of the sale). Looking at the drastically reduced prices I know that I have enough to buy something! So I frantically start pulling outfits from the racks. Polly pulls a couple for me as well, quickly and with ease, and then carries on browsing for herself and for others. She is unruffled.
I however am RUFFLED!!
And am frantically trying on outfit after outfit (which is a struggle because of my bulging belly). Each outfit is not quite right.
Then Mom walks in the store and I am even more ruffled. She is trying to help me, but is only looking for the best “bargains” and not connected to the Style I am searching for. She keeps bringing me the “best deals” she can find trying to help… but its not helping. She too is unruffled.
I am MORE RUFFLED!!
And then I realize that my Wyatt is there and has stripped and is trying on clothes too (unruffled of course)—he is my responsibility to “deal with” but I am annoyed and don’t want to deal with him just yet because, as Mom reminds me I “have only minutes left until the store closes and every second that ticks by is money lost to me as the sale ends in 10!”
A N D
the sale clerk is putting all my hard picked outfits that I was waiting to try on, AWAY! Because she is preparing to close the store and does not want to remain there for hours after closing putting away my PILES of clothing that I have taken out but will very likely not purchase.
And this is where I awoke.
And with literal heart-burn.
I got up. Went potty (of course!), and made myself a baking-soda/cider-vinegar concoction to ease the acid grumbling in my chest. And here I sit in bed my again. 2 a.m. Writing. Heart turned toward You. Questioning, and looking for answers.
Why do I dream such dreams? Can you please help smooth my ruffled thinking?
What comes to me now is one last vague tid-bit of my dream.
A hat I noticed at the beginning of my dream. A hat that caught my attention as soon as I walked in the store. I had pulled it from the rack intending to try it on. A hat I REALLY LIKED but put it aside for later… to “save the best for last”. And because I was pretty sure I would like it I didn’t want to “waste my time” trying it on, and miss out on other opportunities that were less obvious to me up front.
But I think now, as I process the dream, I should have gone straight for the hat and by-passed the rest.
I should have gone with what I KNEW first (or thought I knew) and then carried on from there, rather than approaching the beginning from the end… the best via the path of the worst… the initial by way of the last or ‘lesser-than’.
I can also see vaguely that beyond the hat (Baby Blue and so cute! … would’ve looked stunning on my currently dark hair) was an adorable pair of coordinating pajamas that would have fit me well (no-doubt) and certainly would have looked great… I just know it!
I have a feeling that if I had been UNruffled and travelled with You calmly through the store I could-have/would-have quickly found MY outfit and purchased it and not worried about all the rest… no feelings of missing out… or feeling “there could have been something else –what if I miss(ed) it!!!!!”
But You wouldn’t let me miss it.
I have this belief inside of me that it’s “all up to me”. That You KNOW the answers, but that You aren’t telling me and are waiting on the sidelines for me to ‘figure it out’. And I am frantic in my figuring. Ruffled as I scour the options and possibilities… afraid of messing up… afraid of making wrong decisions… and afraid of Missing My Best!
Though I want to muddle through all the details of this dream—analyzing—sorting—“trying it all on” ☺. I think I need to get to the point that is at the forefront of my mind… I need to pick up MY Baby Blue Hat.
This is what I think You are telling me via the message of the “hat”…
Tica. Stop wasting time with the myriad options and GO WITH YOUR GUT.
Possibility will reveal itself before you if you start by taking the first (often obvious) step FIRST.
No need to come at it from the backside. Hit it head-on from the front.
Follow your instincts taking
O N E S T E P A T A T I M E.
Do not attempt Step 89 before you’ve taken Step 1. And then 2. And then 3… And do remember that 88 comes before 89. 😉
You have Vision, and see Potential and Possibility way down the road. Follow the Path I have set before you to lead you there. Do not attempt to step immediately into the end result.
I give you images of destination points to set an anchor and a string-line from where you are now to each destination, creating a distinct path with a definite end. Follow My lead.
ONE STEP at a time.
Let’s enjoy the Journey KNOWING that the destination is already fixed—you won’t miss it! You won’t miss out. I have anchored your life to it, and as you take your steps you will walk directly into it. Directly into Destiny. Because it is yours. I have chosen it for you perfectly according to your design… your nature… your desires… your dreams and what excites you! You do not have to choose for yourself—trying frantically to “figure it out”. I do not require guessing. I already have it sorted.
Walk with Me. And I will lead you there…
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