I thought for sure Baby-Pea would be here by now. He sure is taking his time in making an appearance! We’ve been waiting for WEEKS now, thinking he will arrive any moment!
And still, he tarries.
Over the last weeks I have found that the least productive thing to do in the waiting, is to focus ON the waiting. To do so causes me miss the NOW, and it also causes anxiety and frustration to rise up… which are no help to any of us! (Ask the Peas!)
So in the last weeks my focus has adjusted to a new theme that has been super-helpful in keeping me on-course…
The ONE MOMENT that I am in RIGHT NOW. Which is currently sitting on my comfy bed writing my heart out to you! (Gosh I Love all of YOU!)
This Theme has been revealing itself to me for quite some time now, but has been especially relevant and helpful in these last days of waiting. To help develop this thought further I defer to a couple of journal entries from recent weeks, pasted below, but summed up in this…
The PAST is gone… door closed… done.
The FUTURE is imminent… but not worth facing until we hit it, and when we do we will connect with the Grace attached to it, not a moment earlier.
But for NOW we have THIS MOMENT … complete with perfect and specialized Grace to go with it…
(Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)
(FOR AN EXPLANATION ON THIS AND OTHER POSTS UNDER “RAW, REAL AND UNPLUGGED” SEE THIS POST.)
September 18, 2013 Wednesday 7:50 p.m.
I’ve crawled in bed early… in lieu of our Wednesday-night-date-night-grocery-night Dusty and I have opted for the quiet of our bedroom… Dusty to unwind watching a movie on the MacBook while at the same time playing HayDay on the iPad 🙂 total techno escape; and I indulging in the comfort of my bed, journal in lap, pen in hand—I call it “Peace on Earth for Tica”. 🙂
Tummy’s feeling better after my bout with the stomach flu (I was the last of the family to get it)… this is proven by the 5 squares of chocolate sitting on my nightstand… 2 Cadbury= coconut rough in milk chocolate and dark chocolate filled with mint cream, 2 Whitakers= milk chocolate filled with strawberry cream and milk chocolate filled with peanut butter, and lastly 1 Lindt= white chocolate.
Not sure why I’m giving a rundown on the chocolate I’m sampling except that I don’t know where else to start and I’m trying to bury myself in this journal the way Dusty is burying himself in his movie and game… we need to shut-off… to unwind… to disengage from the chaos of the day and settle our minds.
For Dusty to do so he needs to engage his mind in other things, to escape; for me, I need to press in to YOU… beyond the questions and the troubles, the cares and concerns, into Your Heart of Love and of Peace and of Truth… not to mention Kindness, Comfort, Rest, Encouragement, Beauty, Grace, Joy, Gentleness… just to mention a few of Your Incredible attributes! Attributes that I Love. Attributes that I WANT.
I don’t want to escape my troubles, I want to solve them. And I KNOW I need Your Wisdom to do it. So what is Your Wisdom for this hour? For this moment?
Oh my goodness… quick side-note… the peanut butter filled chocolate is VERY WELL DONE! It is a true peanut butter flavor unadulterated by added sugar, which is amazing when paired with the sweet milk chocolate… WELL DONE WHITAKERS! I am extremely satisfied!
So what is Wisdom for this moment?
Funny! I actually think it is REALLY NOTICING and APPRECIATING the goodness and the quality of the chocolate beside me 🙂 … smiling at the uneven patter I hear working its way up the stairs as Teddy finds his way to me, seeking the comfort of his crib and blankie… his gorgeous smile and sweet one-year-old toddler chatter as he wheels up next to his Daddy who has just scooped him up into his lap… and little Wyatt, who just poked his head upstairs to say he is going to bed (even though a movie is playing) because he is tired and he knows his limit—good boy!… and Nalia, sleeping soundly in her little pink bed on our floor, who made the most of every second of her princess-day and is at this point utterly exhausted in the happiest way… my other babies banded together watching a movie, preparing to settle in for the night…
This is Wisdom for this moment… focusing on THIS MOMENT.
And I Rest in that.
September 26, 2013 Thursday 12:20 p.m.
Spectacular Spring Day!
Recognizing more clearly this morning a Strong Theme running through this season that is currently giving me great Peace… and Hope.
The Theme: ONE STEP or my current translation, THIS MOMENT.
I’ve journaled this thought several times. And up till now have largely viewed this primitive thinking and subsequent behavior as a coping mechanism to carry my weak-self through my inability to multi-task as I have in the past.
Even the kids are becoming familiar with this new antic as they persistently ask “What’s next Mom?” or seek to gain my permission for “THIS after THAT?” And every time in this current season I answer with something like, “For now we are doing this ONE THING. We will discuss the next part when we come to it. We are going to completely finish this segment FIRST, and THEN move on to the next.”
This is my focus and my comfort in this season. And as I sit and ponder it, I can see this stance as a GIFT and not a weakness.
By Design I have future vision… this has a tendency to push me forward to where I almost LIVE in the future. Bypassing what is going on now. Which is sad, because I MISS THINGS! I miss the NOW for the sake of the future. And when that future comes, I miss it again because I’ve already refocused on the next horizon.
I’ve been aware of this for a while as I realize an oft-uttered prayer of my Heart to You is “don’t let me miss it!”—especially when it comes to my children, my Honey, and others that you send my way to Love and to be Loved by. There are gifts and treasures in the moment that I too easily overlook because my eyes are so focused on the distance.
That said, I will continue to watch the Distance, because that is my Design, but I will LIVE in the NOW, embracing my moments with Gratitude, knowing that YOU ARE HERE—in THIS moment, and that Your Grace for each moment is always provided. Grace for the moments of the future will arrive when that future becomes “now”—so I have no need to worry about what I foresee. I can leave the details of the Distance in Your Hands, and submit to the Grace of Now. The Grace of Now providing strength and comfort and energy and focus and Wisdom and Peace and Joy for THIS MOMENT.
Big Blessings to YOU in THIS MOMENT… YOUR MOMENT… whatever it may be… I’d love to hear what that is if you care to share it below!
For me… I might just go have me another moment with some Whitakers Chocolate 🙂 Wish you were here to share it with!