, , , , , , , , ,


On October 4, 2013 our 9th earth-baby was born at 9:09 in the morning.


(meet him here too and see more pictures 🙂 )



OH My Sweet Jesus…. THANK YOU for this Incredible Gift!!!

I deeply lived and breathed every single moment of this birth experience and have come out on the other side feeling like I birthed all 10 of my children at once… in the most BEAUTIFUL way… Albeit the way of PAIN… along with with ABSOLUTE GRACE… in what for most would have been a near perfect pregnancy, labor and delivery.

The whole family breathed an excited sigh of relief at Lukas’ birth… it felt as if more than a baby was birthed for all of us.

Always there is a feeling of deep Relief and Gratitude after a baby is born… 9 months of beautiful Challenge and Change leading up to an Olympic-Sized Event… presenting to the world the most precious of gifts… the gift of Life via Love and Love via Life!

But somehow this time around, the feelings of Relief and Gratitude are magnified ten-times over.  A different feeling of ‘conclusion’ has followed this delivery than I’ve felt after previous deliveries.

I was trying to explain the profoundness of what I feel to Dusty as we sat quietly alone on our balcony following Lukas’ birth (thanks to the Burrow’s and the Renkin’s for taking the rest of the Peas!)… I told him I felt like I had been running an ultra-ultra-marathon and have just crossed the finish line.  I feel Exhausted-Elation at having run, what was for me, a challenging race that strained me to the max and revealed greater potential inside of me than I knew existed.

“The Race” I’m talking about is not the run of the last 9 months leading up to the birth of sweet baby Lukas… nope… the last 9 months was just one short leg of the whole course… The race I’m talking about has taken place over the last fifteen years of my life, beginning when my intentional adventure with ‘Life‘ began.

It was nearly 15 years ago, before I was even married, that my heart and mind made a decision about how I (Tica Marcile Blackler at the time) felt on the matter of pro-creation, abortion, contraception, etc… I felt and feel that the Ultimate Design for Life and Procreation is Whole-hearted Openness with Love.  Practically speaking, in my life after marriage, that has specifically translated into a wide-open Trust that has led to 10 pregnancies in the last 12 years.

I have believed in the Goodness of this with every ounce of my being, and Treasure every single life that has come from it.

I feel like in my own small way I have pushed back against the hand of destruction that has been beating down against the Sanctity of Life… and I have gained a certain amount of ground for future generations to build upon.

And now I’m tired.

Mentally, I have finished my race.

I have proven my point.

But did I “WIN”???


I have never been competitive so could care less if I “win” the race… if any of you want to “win” I will gladly defer to you.  I only want to know that I ran MY BEST RACE.  I’m not sure how I actually placed compared to others.  And quite honestly I don’t care.

What that means Practically, Morally, Ethically?… we’ll see.  I’m sure I’ll have more to say in the future on this subject.  But for now… Mentally… I’m done.  And I am at Peace with that.  I am being brutally honest with that.  I feel a freedom in that.  And quite honestly… HOPE.

My birth experience with Lukas was Precious.  I Treasure it deeply!  In fact I treasure every birth of every one of my 10 children (9 earth babies, one angel-baby).  Each and every memory DEEPLY etched upon my heart and filed within my mind.  I have absolutely no regrets.


I’m taking off my running shoes and hanging them up…


THIS race is OVER.

What’s next?


I feel a Dance rising up…


…Time for New Adventures to begin…

(See also this post where additional questions are answered.)