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‘Grace’ has been a buzz-word in my journal of late.

I have read and heard many teachings on ‘Grace’; many of them very different from one another.  A bit like the fable of the blind men describing an elephant according the the one part they were standing next to… the blind man standing by the ear describes “elephant” as something large and flat, the man by the trunk describes the same creature as something round, narrow and looong, one by the leg describes something tree-trunk-like, and another by the rump describes… well, you get the picture.  All of them define “elephant” according the part they are aware of, and all of them assume they have the full description of the creature on their own.

Grace is like that elephant.  Gigantic.  Multi-faceted.  Complex.  Difficult to define in one sitting and impossible to do so from just one angle.  You will see below that I “define” Grace in my own way based on my experience of this phenomena.  I am aware however, that my “definition” displays only ONE facet of Grace, and that there are many other valid thoughts on the subject.

However, even having said that,  I will venture to suggest a broad definition of Grace…

‘Grace is the Life and Energy of God’…

And where is there is Life and Energy, there is Growth, Flow and Momentum.

Now That is where I want to be… Growing and in the Flow!

This introduction represents the heart of the journal entries that follow.


January 2, 2014                                                                           Thursday 12:38 a.m.


In every moment there is Grace available … somewhere.

The trick is to recognize WHERE the Grace is and to align myself with it.

Grace is what carries me… through trials, pain, sacrifice… but it also allows me/ causes me/carries me into experiences of Joy—Delight—Rejoicing—Celebration.

Where Grace is there is FLOW and LIFE.  In the same way that a river or stream ‘flows’ and brings forth Life, so it is with Grace—Grace breeds Life.  In fact, Grace IS Life!

We have had Grace to walk this journey… through challenging and sometimes painful adventure.  And yet all through it, we have been paradoxically “carried” by Grace.  Grace took us down paths we would not have chosen for ourselves.  As freaky as it was at times, it was best to let the torrents and rapids wrench us from our stones of “safety” and carry us—safer to ride the river than fight against it.

Funny though; it seems to me that the Grace that linked itself to ‘challenge’ and ‘survival’ on our behalf, has left!

I noticed it first when we received news that we had to move from this house (Goodwin Cottage)… I put my brave “adventurer” face on, which has served me well these past years, but this time, it did nothing for me—there was NO Grace.  I just didn’t have it in me to move again.  There had to be something else for us!  And there was!  In an unexpected turn of events, not only do we get to stay at The Cottage, but we will eventually own this Cottage!  You are Magnificent!

And then again Your Grace eluded me when we went camping on the West Coast.  I packed and left home with excitement and anticipation only to be met with a void of Grace for camping—so home we went after staying only 1 night!

If Your Grace is not with me in any given situation—even those that seem ideal and amazing—I don’t want to be there.  It’s too much effort to manage these things on my own.

Sweet Jesus—Your Grace is sufficient for me.

In my heart of hearts, I choose YOU and the plans and Wisdom that You have over my life.  Make Your Grace clearly evident to me, including making my senses ultra-aware of the Grace-flows around me.

I Love you Lord!

And I Trust You entirely.

Lead on Sweet Jesus.

January 3, 2014                                                                                 Friday 7:38 a.m.

Oh my Father.  What a privilege it is to sit quietly in this place with You… the rest of my family still asleep… wind and rain making a steady and soothing lull against our Cottage, but the air warm with summer breath.

I am so grateful.

You are here. 🙂

And I come to this place not near enough… Thank You for meeting me here even so. 🙂

You continue to steadily remind me of Your Goodness and Your Presence in my life—and seem to be speaking (and laughing) Abundance over me/us.  I struggle to grasp what that means after living under such tight restriction for so long.  Already I am witnessing ‘Abundance’ begin to trickle its way in as the restriction begins to leave.  I feel the Grace that was upon us to survive the tension is lifting and a New Grace is settling in.  Like the other day on our way home from our manic camping trip that lasted less than 24 hours; we stopped at Reefton for coffee.  I got to chatting with the Café Manager after paying $8 with my card for our coffees.  I shared with her that 3 years prior we stayed in their cottage on vacation for my brother’s wedding and low and behold we now LIVE here!  She learned that we live near Rangiora and asked if we might be willing to take her daughter’s phone to her.  She had left without it and was taking a flight out of Christchurch in the morning.  I was very happy to oblige.  Then she reached into her till and handed me $10 saying “THANK YOU so much!  You are NOT paying for your coffees!”  And that was that… I met a nice lady, got free coffee and made two-bucks!

Then Dusty and I finally listed our 7 kittens on Trademe thinking they would be a struggle to give away… but I listed them for $5 each, and they all sold in 2 days!  Small pocket change, but more than the ‘nothing’ we thought we would get.

Where the flow used to be in reverse (finances only ever going out), it seems the tide might be coming in for us, and with it Resources and Abundant Provision.  It has only just begun, and it is a trickle compared to what I sense is coming.  My brain struggles to grasp it all—even struggles to Believe.  But my heart knows.  And in this place of understanding and foresight I ask for Wisdom; that we would steward well what You intend to pour out upon us.


I Trust.

May all that You desire come to fruition.

Steady us under Your Loving Hand that we would walk uprightly and in Love all our days and forever-more regardless of our circumstances.